I once was an anarchist.

Yes, at one time, I considered myself an anarchist. In many ways, I would love to hold onto those ideals, but it's just not possible, I'm finding out.

I guess it's because I've gotten out into the world, paid taxes (especially doing Donald's self-employment taxes), had to scrounge around for enough money to pay for health insurance, and then turn around and scrounge for more money to pay medical bills that my insufficient insurance did not pay. Grrr! And then we go to downtown Atlanta and are bombarded bby panhandlers wanting a handout. And they get pissed if you don't give them something! Honestly, I remember those days of panhandling, myself. What I was thinking, I'm not quite sure. Oh right, easy money, that I somehow deserved.

I figure that it's not just education that forms a person's beliefs, spiritually and politically. It has to be life events, experience and personality. Surely, there are tons of studies on human characteristics that (pre-)determine what each person will value and how they'll live out their life. Ah, but that's another issue altogether, I suppose. Is it?

I'm thinking about the many people I have connected with on a popular social networking site. Many of these people are from grade school and high school, and some are from the few crazy years that followed high school, when we joined the Industrial Workers of the World Union and the Love and Rage Revolutionary Anarchist Federation . I am amazed how everyone grew up so differently, and even how some don't seem to have grown up at all (or have they?). I am happy to say that most from my grade school, a Catholic private school in Louisville, KY, show wonderful values, motivation, and similar political views. Not all are practicing Christians, which is their thing, but we still come into agreement on the political front. I haven't come across one that is expecting the "government" to pay for their healthcare, food, or lodging. All of these people have families. They all have jobs, pay their taxes (an assumption), and are independent.

I have a few former classmates from high school (a very liberal, art school with teachers who openly boasted that they were socialists) who are very proud of the new US President. They think that social programs are wonderful. I am finding out that many of these people with this view are still in school. Many have not moved away from home. Many have not held serious jobs. Many do not have families, yet, to support. Even when they do graduate, start families, and get real paying jobs, will their views change? Will they grow to despise the IRS like so many millions of taxpayers because they feel like they're being raped of their money that they worked so hard to earn? Will they happily hand off their money to panhandlers on the sidewalk, who do nothing, but clog the walkway all day? Once their families start to grow, will they look at abortion for what it is, cold-blooded murder of innocent children? Will they look at their little daughters and pray to God that those little girls don't become teen pregnancy statistics? Or that their sweet little boy doesn't ever get another girl pregnant and then abandon her, or worse, pressure her into an unwanted abortion because the "timing is not right"? Will they be the ones to drive their children to the DFACS building, give them a personal tour, and go through all of the available programs they could be eligible for as long as they make under a certain amount of money?

How can I be sure that MY children will carry on good Christian values when they fly the coop? How can I be sure that they are not faced with a teen pregnancy? By schooling them at home, can I instill in them the understanding that less government is better? I could always teach them my anarchistic views. Heck, the political party I seem to siding with most nowadays preaches for a smaller, less controlling government. I tell myself that this is the closest thing to my Utopian ideals as a teenager. I accept that there are laws that have to be written in stone, because if they're not, someone will always want to do something stupid and not want to be held responsible.

So that's the key. Responsibility. If we can just be responsible for what we say and do (duh!), then things would be so much easier. Why does that have to be so hard to understand? I think I remember learning that this country was founded by people who were escaping an over-controlling government. They wanted freedom. They wanted freedom of speech, religion, happiness. They just wanted to live their lives, honestly, without someone breathing down their backs. I'm sure they supported one another in order to get things going. But I'm pretty sure that most of them were very independent in raising their own families. That included food, shelter, education, employment, growing in faith, clothing, and bettering the land around them.

A government became necessary to run the business of worldly issues. Government became necessary once there were so many people that an order was needed. Basic laws were written so everyone coming together knew what was to be expected in order of responsible behaviour. It makes me wonder if size is an issue. There is such a great debate over immigrants and the number our country accepts into citizenship every year. Is the population becoming too great in number that at some point humans become unmanageable? Can we continue to grow and expect simple laws to reign, or is it really a necessity to write more laws that apply to larger masses?

I start looking at my children and wonder if living in the largest, most powerful country in the world IS the best place for them. It isn't the safest, surely. I'm sure there are smaller, quieter countries out there, right? Who are those neutral countries who do not get into wars? I remember a couple small ones mentioned. However, they are not always out of harm's way. But I'm sure it has to be so much easier to live in a smaller country. Ireland. I'll research Ireland. What kind of government do they run? I've met a bunch of Irish immigrants in this country. What would make them want to fly/sail all the way over here to live? Have they saturated their own markets and towns that they are just spilling over into our country?

Okay, so what prompted this? I'm just frustrated that there are still so many people happy with the new leader of our country. I have read all of the dumba$$ rubbish that has been stuffed into the new stimulus package. I cannot comprehend how this is all being accepted by the majority of the public. Our government is turning to communist countries to get funding to "stimulate" the economy. What makes sense in that? Or is that how it works when the population gets so big?

Now look, I am busy worrying about all of this. I am busy caring for my family and household. However, I am also able to pray and hold concern for another issue, that I mentioned earlier. Abortion. How is it that many supporters can make excuses that our President is too busy with "fixing" our economy, and doesn't have time to tend to the issue of abortion? How is it that he managed, within his first couple of days in office, BEFORE "fixing" the economy, he found it necessary to okay the country's finances to be used to fund abortions performed out of the country? What? Okay, that's more than my little peabody brain can even digest. I'm not sure what to say about it. The only thing I can say is that no one who voted for this evil person, should be surprised about what he's done so far.

And I just may become an anarchist all over again. Why not, it makes as much sense as anything else going on in DC!